One of the highlights of Youth Conference was hiking around the Double Arch and telling Chuck Norris facts. I heard some that I hadn't heard before, and we were all laughing pretty hard. I am guessing that you all have been enlightened by at least a few Chuck Norris fact, but just in case you haven't, I decided to dedicate a post to it. Chuck Norris facts have become an online rage and are pretty pervasive now. There are thousands and thousands of "facts" about Chuck Norris all over the internet, but I think this is the main site for them. Here are some of my favorites:
There is no chin under Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Ninjas want to grow up to be just like Chuck Norris. But usually they grow up just to be killed by Chuck Norris.
Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous.
Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
Hellen Keller's favorite color is Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."
Along with his black belt, Chuck Norris often chooses to wear brown shoes. No one has DARED call him on it. Ever.
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
And my favorite: Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.
There are tons of them and most are pretty entertaining. What are your favorites?
3 comments:
Those are so funny. I had never heard of them until you told me some when you got home from Youth Conference. Classic.
My favorite: There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
Those are so funny. I'll have to go over them and decide which is my favorite. Have you seen the SNL Digital Short "Young Chuck Norris" If not here is the link to youtube
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-NRIIoDbQHI&mode=related&search=
Very funny stuff.
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